How to get to Miami on low budget

Zu dieser Geschichte fehlen mir leider einige Details, da der Sprecher einen Mörderdialekt hatte. Grob lässt sich das Ganze nacherzählen, mehr geht nicht. Wäre heute sowieso alles nicht mehr möglich...


How to get to Miami on low budget


Er ist schon etwas betagt, der Mann, der als Erster die Bühne betritt. Ein wenig untersetzt, klein, mit einer spiegelnden Halbglatze gesegnet, in seiner Bärtigkeit grau meliert. Ich verstehe nicht alles, was er sagt, aber was ich verstehe, ist beeindruckend:

"Well, you know, it was back in my days, when music was still about to change the world and it was all about love and peace that I have heard about the heart master. You probably know people that are head masters, people that control it all with their head and not the heart. That man I've heard about, he was a heart master. He was living in the United States and I was living here, up in the country of North Ireland and I heard about his ways and it amazed me. You know, back then I was miserable, I didn't have any money or a job and I was madly in love with a woman I couldn't have. She was married, it was a terrible marriage and she had about five kids. When she finally got divorced, she said, she wasn't ready for a new relationship and there I was, heartbroken and messed up and I heard about this heart master's philosophy. And one of my friends told me, that this heartmaster would be in Miami the next week, giving lessons and presentations and everything. And I said, yeah, so, I have no money. My friend said, yeah, so, so you got no money! Well, and then I thought, I mean, I was very young and naive, yeah? I thought, maybe someone can give me a lift."

Das Publikum kichert.

"So I went to the airport in Dublin, but there weren't any planes going to Miami that day, so I started thinking and I realized that there were at the moment cheap flights to Shannon, about 15 bugs or something, so I went to Shannon and they had flights going to the States. Now I did try a lot to get on the plane, folks, please don't ever try this, today you'd end up in a very bad place. I tried to just walk through the gates, but they held me back. Then I told them that I'd like to talk to the pilot, and they did let me talk to the pilot. I did ask him if he could give me a lift, but he said, no man, that's more than my job is worth, I'm sorry. What was I to do, I wanted to go to Miami. People started talking about me already. So there was one guy, he said, I'll see what I can do for you, and he walked around with me and opened some doors and suddenly, I was in the Duty Free area.

Augen und Münder stehen uns speerangelweit offen. [Anm. Wie genau der Mann in die Duty Free area gekommen ist, habe ich nicht verstanden]

"Still, how could I get on the plane? I still needed a boarding ticket. So I asked everyone, I asked the Stewardess if she could arrange for me to get on the jump seat and she went and had a look on one plane and came back and said, I'm sorry sir, but in this plane, there are only old people, you'd stick out, they'd question me about this, I can not do this. And I went on trying to get on a plane, but it got late, and I needed a place to sleep, so that one guy told me, he knew a place for me to sleep and took me out of the Duty Free area."

Bedauerndes Seufzen.

"So on the next day I was waiting for that guy, I was waiting by the elevators, then he came and he wouldn't look at me, he just passed by and I followed him, then he turned slightly and whispered, man, I can not even look at you, down there there's the rumor that I'll get you to Miami, people are looking at me with a strange look. But I managed to get back into the Duty Free area [Anm. Keine Ahnung wie, wirklich nicht] and I still needed a boarding ticket, so I thought, why not just use my boarding ticket for Shannon? You know, so I took my pen and changed the flight number and went to board and told them, yeah, they made a mistake when printing the ticket and had to correct it, and I filled in the imigration form for the states - and they let me pass! They let me pass, isn't that amazing?"

Wir schauen ihn mittlerweile an wie das achte Weltwunder.

"So I got on the plane and I went to the toilet and locked myself in, I thought I could hide there til the plane started, but they came for me. They had been counting passengers at the entrance and they were now counting again and figured, there was something wrong with the numbers, so they went and looked for me and I got out and they asked me where my seat was. Now luckily, the other passengers had found their seats already and I could spot a free seat and said, that's mine. So the Stewardess said, then please sit down sir, and that was it!"

Das achte Weltwunder, das erste Auto, Superman persönlich, wir schauen uns gegenseitig an um uns zu vergewissern, dass wir alle die selbe unglaubliche Geschichte anhören.

"Now the plane started, I really couldn't believe it. Nowadays you'd get arrested for even trying what I did then. So that plane was going to New York but had to stop in Philadelphia also, so I asked the others if it's better to go to New York or to Philadeplphia to go on to Miami and they said, better go from Philadelphia, because New York Airport was to big, to many terminals, it would take longer to get to the gate and everything. And then I remembered something and I took out my adress book, because I realized that my elder sister, who was living in the states, had moved to Philadelphia. So I got out in Philadelphia, but then security suddenly took me out. And I was worried because of my boarding pass and thought, damn, they've got me! But it turned out I had filled out the imigration form wrong, so they corrected it and let me go. Then I went to my sister and borrowed some money to get to Miami and then I was there. And when that heart master heard what I've done to get there, he was simply amazed. I stayed in the States for three more months before I got back and...you see, that story is for those who give up too easily and think they can't do anything. When you really want something, you can do a lot about it. Yeah. Just don't try that plane thing anymore, seriously, that's impossible to do now. Thank you."

Sprach.Los.